So today yet again in one of the forwarded messages came the piece written by #mrsfunnybones #twinklekhanna on “Drifting Kites”. Though a fairly old one and one that I have read several times, it makes me feel equally gullible each time I read it.
Some messages have an uncanny way of appearing when you are at your most vulnerable. As I read the post #driftingkites yet again.. several thoughts ran through my mind.
The post beautifully brings out how parents many times miss or entirely fail to encourage communication with their children, but on the other side I could not help but think of children who do not talk or communicate even though parents may want to, may be also encouraging them to.
I see examples of all sorts around me.. And many times in my own self too. As a parent I feel I am forward thinking, I am open but am I really communicating or signalling that to my heart beat – my son? Children are dependent on us for everything. Not just finances.. Frankly.. They at the age that my little one is don’t even realize that how hard it is and how much planning is required for bringing kids up. Neither did we when we were that age, but today times are different. Youngsters today “need” guidance a lot more than our days and “want” it a lot less than we did as children.
Parents give their children more time, more attention and think a lot for their future from the day they know they are expecting parents to be. In cultures like ours, this continues till they graduate college and many times even after. We worry about them, wait for their phone call, feel upset if we don’t hear from them for a day even though we know they are genuinely busy.
That’s because as parents on one side we hope , think and believe that we are making them independent (rightfully so) and on another we secretly fear them moving away.
Then of course there are examples of children and youngsters who want time from their parents. As a teacher and a mentor I hear young boys and girls craving for time from extremely busy parents. The parents, whether rightfully or not I don’t know, believe it’s for the better future of their child that they are doing all the professional running around. What really amazes me then are the subconscious and translucent walls that are built which show only a part of the picture. Children feel strayed as parents have no time for them and by the time parents realize and want to communicate with them, children have developed a life and lifestyle of their own where they find solace in people, pleasure and places beyond the family.
“If there is anything you truly wish to give your children.. Give them your time.. Not your possessiveness.. Give them your attention.. Not (only) Money because that will be left behind after you for them anyway”
Life and it’s mirages… Life as we “don’t” want to” know it…
(c) Bijal Mehta